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Questions for you Jasmine Badge

Questions for you: 1. How does my history impact me in various areas of my life? 2. My self-esteem? 3. My partner relationships? 4. My parenting? 5. My friendships? 6. My work choices? Without a recovery process it is likely you are operating according to a belief system you developed long ago. These beliefs may have helped you survive when you were young, but now they no longer serve their purpose. In fact they probably get in the way of how you would like to live your life. ~ JB
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Anything that costs you your mental health, is way too expensive. Jasmine Badge

Never underestimate how much pain somebody has to be to put a razor to their wrist, a finger to their throat, a gun to their head or a pen to ‘that’ note. So often we try to make other people feel better by minimising others’ pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what they actually needed. What they actually needed was for someone to tell them that it hurt because it mattered. Be the lighthouse rather than lifeboat. It’s not about rescuing but instead help others to find their way to shore so they can see the path and seek the right help. Here’s a few suggestions on what to say to those who are in ‘pain’? Where do you think we can go from here? How can I help you? How can I support you? What can I do to help you get through this? What’s a good first step we can take? Reminder: Anything that costs you your mental health, is way too expensive. ~JB
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Avoiding triggers is neither coping or healing Jasmine Badge

Avoiding triggers is niether coping or healing. Pay attention to what’s triggering you versus who is triggering you. Real healing involves being triggered, but gradually doing the work to reduce your trigger response and when you are able to move through the pain, the pattern, and the story … And walk your way to a different ending, that’s healing. Note to self: Healing also means taking an honest look at the role we play in our own struggles and suffering. ~ JB
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Commitment to Compassion. Jasmine Badge

To me, the most fundamental in helping relationships is a commitment to compassion.  A helping relationship is not for the helper’s benefit; the prime directive is the patient/client’s well-being. In this way, helping relationships differ from friendship and intimate relationships, where ideally both partners have a mutual commitment to promoting each other’s health and wellness.  For example, a surgeon operates on an anesthetized person to excise a tumor. A dentist removes and replaces decayed tooth tissue. At an accident scene, a paramedic performs cardiopulmonary resuscitation and stops the bleeding. A lifeguard rescues a floundering swimmer.  Most importantly, what is required of the recipient of such services the “patient” cooperation and trust. ~ JB  #worldmentalhealthday
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See The Good Jasmine Badge

The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice.  There is little we can do to change until we notice. How failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds. {R. D. Laing}  Note to self: We must stop looking at children and families through a deficit based lens and start looking at their strengths. This is how we build community and this is how we heal. ~ JB
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Pain is about non-acceptance. Jasmine Badge

Pain is about non-acceptance. What are you currently refusing, rejecting, repelling or denying? Note to self: Emotions aren’t always rational so write them down and don’t worry about explaining them right now. ~ JB
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Trauma Freezes The Moment Jasmine Badge

Many who suffer trauma experience a great sense of loss. This may mean the loss of trust, connection to others, innocence, truth, reality, safety, boundaries, or the ability to feel calm or relaxed or comfortable in their own skin. Trauma freezes the moment in time and implants powerful thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, which remain embedded in our body and brain … Potentially for years or even decades until the trauma is addressed and healed. Trauma creates a repetitive and profoundly disempowering internal belief. That ultimate core belief is shame, the painful feeling that comes with the belief that who we are is not okay; not worthy; insignificant. Here’s the four phases when I work on trauma with my clients: 1. Re-visit and explore the past 2.​ Connect the past to the present 3.​ Challenge the beliefs and reframe when necessary 4.​ Formulate new coping skills ~ JB #worldmentalhealthday
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Love Is Not Enough Jasmine Badge

Love is not enough to sustain a relationship. Healthy relationships require trust, boundaries, communication, understanding and respect.  A healthy relationship will not require you to give up your emotional well being.  I think marriage vows need a rebranding … Instead of ‘I promise to love you forever’, it should be ‘I promise to be accountable and not blame you or try to change you. I promise to make my emotional health my priority. And I promise to show up even when I’m not in the mood.  What’s the pain you most frequently experience when it comes to relationships? Loneliness, feeling controlled, being misunderstood, frustrated, shamed, helpless?  Doing anything about it?? ~ JB
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World Mental Health Day Jasmine Badge

Sometimes it’s a persistent negative belief about ourselves that we struggle or can’t shake, which ends up causing a negative outcome.  Take someone who’s had trouble finding a job. They’re convinced they don’t have anything to offer as an employee or at least believe what they have is easily replaceable. Perhaps they suffer from something called “imposter syndrome,” in which one believes that they’re conning everyone as to what they can do and it’s just a matter of time before they get exposed.  When you learn to see the world as it is, and not as you want it to be, everything changes. The solution to most problems become more apparent when you can view it through more than one lens or options.  With options, you’ll be able to spot opportunities you couldn’t see before, avoid costly mistakes that may be holding you back and begin to make meaningful progress in life. That is the power of mindset!  To be listed as #mentalhealth advocate by LinkedIn and thank you so much Yunita Ong & Chris C. Anderson for putting this list together.  We are a community of people sharing our stories. In celebration of World Mental Health Day, let’s bravely share how we are growing, coping and dealing things in a different way. The world needs these stories.  Use the hashtag #worldmentalhealthday and follow these wonderful advocates in the article. ~ JB   #worldmentalhealthday2021
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Keeping Secrets Jasmine Badge

Keeping secrets is physical work and secrets can also hurt our thinking abilities.  Keeping secrets from others means that we must consciously restrain, hold back, or in some way exert effort to not think, feel, or behave. When keeping a secret, we don’t translate the event into language. This can prevent us from understanding the event. Major life experiences that are withheld from others are likely to surface in the forms of anxiety, ruminations, disturbing dreams, and other thought disturbances.  In the short run, restraining thoughts or feelings can immediately affect our body, for example, by increasing perspiration or causing faster heart rates, as seen during lie detector tests.  Over time, the work of keeping secrets serves as a cumulative stressor on the body, increasing the likelihood of illness and other stress-related physical and mental problems.  Actively holding back from talking about important topics is one of many general stressors that affect the mind and body. The harder we must work at hiding our thoughts or feelings, the greater the stress on our bodies.  Practice honesty and openness, this is one good way to take care of your mental health. ~ JB
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